So there is lots stewing....but I've been swamped and really just tired. I am not sure I like working for BF - but at the same time it pays the bills. I just can't get away for the 'calling.' At any rate - the Lord will have to provide wisdom on that point. I'll maybe blog about it later, in the meantime, I have been listening to Les Miserables on my way to work and using a specific song to pray. Now I don't mean it to sound all that....I don't usually say anything, but this song just pulls at my heart. I often find myself weeping, maybe because some of it I resonate with, maybe because I see this all around, maybe because I don't want to end up with this song being my experience of life. Yet....I also want to rise above the circumstance. There MUST be the lord in the valley of the shadow of death, otherwise we are to be pitied - however, he also rescues me from the pit!

So....maybe this will speak to you as it has been me.

There was a time when men were kind
When their voices were soft
And their words inviting
There was a time when love was blind
And the world was a song
And the song was exciting
There was a time
Then it all went wrong

I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high
And life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung, no wine untasted

But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
And they turn your dream to shame

He slept a summer by my side
He filled my days with endless wonder
He took my childhood in his stride
But he was gone when autumn came

And still I dream he'll come to me
That we will live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather

I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed.

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