Ever notice that it seems when you are on the brink of something - the pressure, the intensity just goes through the roof.
The charasmatic in me recognises some attack from the enemy - and i think it is there, because moments when you are on the cusp of a change are stressful and they also are moments you choose if you are going to honour God or honour man(which can be yourself too!)

I am feeling under it - my back is twisted up in knots, i've got the jimmy legs, - I'm finding all new temptations at every turn and resisting is rather difficult right now....I've eaten four yoghurts since getting home(if it only meant what you think it means todd...)...actually it could be anything - I'll just eat. I know eating seems mundane, but when your God is your stomach, your God is not your God if you know what I mean. There are other temptations surfacing their ugly heads too - just so you don't think my life consists of seeing every opportunity to eat dairy products!

So - in the midst of this, in the midst of my failing and picking myself up - here is where your faith is lived out in courage and consistency and in trusting that He is strong in my weakness. So I choose Him. After all...what else have i got!

At any rate - bit of a non-coherent ramble - but I needed to get it out.

When we make big life decisions we choose and so there is a great battle over our choosing. We love the glamour of the battlefield, but often the most intense battle is one made every day to choose to trust. God is big. I am not. So I choose to honour Him by working on my character, aligning my life with His and not allowing negative self image and self loathing however justified to allow me to abandon this big God.

Bookmark and Share