I feel depressed.

I've been trying to be a little introspective to determine why and I've realised that most of my depression is because I've been trying to impress someone on site who I look up to. Today circumstances conspired to make a bad situation and now he's not my biggest fan. Partly my fault, partly his fault, partly the lumber company's fault.
It all added up to me feeling depressed, and desperately wanting it to be NONE of my fault!

I remember reading one time something Brennan Manning wrote, or perhaps quoted from Thomas Merton or Nouwen.
"it is impossible for Abba's child to be offended." If we really know who we are, then no amount of failure or success, no amount of personal attack, or accolade can change our privileged position as Abba's child.

"Abba, I belong to You."

So....tomorrow I've got to talk to this guy, clear the air, move on, roll with the punches and remember - Abba decides my worth, no one else.




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