OK - so I'm thinking through this post - this is really posting outloud so to speak!
I've been struggling lately with my attitudes.
My attitude to my sin, my attitude to my work. Really it does all begin in your heart and mind.

It's not really any surprise that I don't feel 'fulfilled' by my job. I feel like there was something else that I was created to do. In fact all of the various personality profiles and aptitude testing would tell you that. So I am justified in my desire for a new vocation. However, i've been thinking that the whole 'fulfilled by your job deal' is just another form of selfishness and pride. I mean think about Paul saying to slaves that they should do their best, respect their masters etc... He wasn't advocating slavery he was saying that we should all carry ourselves as if we are serving the lord because you get your fulfillment from Him, not your job!

I'm not saying that I'm not going to keep searching for that job, but ultimately i won't ever find fulfillment in my job and therefore - I need to learn to be content in my work and to seek out how to serve Him here. I should spend more time doing that than looking for something that makes me feel more alive...because after all - He makes me alive - not my job.

So to that end, let me begin to change my mind about my job - it's really amazing. They pay me well, I have a certain amount of freedom. I live at my job and am home by 5 and wake up 20min before I need to be at work. If my kids need a ride home I can go and pick them up. By and large the people I have on site are great - oh and i can write this post while I am at work, looking out the window of my office on the site.
Pretty neat.
So maybe this won't be forever, but maybe it will and that's OK because I don't get fulfilled by my job!

This is what my site looks like from my office. Pretty fun.






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